"Prostitutes tonight!"
Bobby Flay. I find this guy to be a bit of a jackass: a consummate cocksucker; a food-hack even. I never really liked the food network, and saw Bobby Flay as the embodiment of what was totally wrong about a TV station about food. You really ought to either cook or eat (even better, one then the other) to learn about and experience food. But here's this youngish man of good looks, an American blend of NY Irish Attitude but also the equally annoying cock-sureness of the Southern Creole/Cajun cuisine that is his specialty. This is that guy in the bar - the drunk, churlish show-off who seems to always have his finger in someone's chest regaling all around with one-upmanship.
So now, Bobby is doing this thing with Hellmann's mayonnaise where he is building for "random" people the "Perfect Sandwich" for whatever occasion they might have in mind. Naturally all these sandwiches will involve goo-gobs of Hellmann's mayo and a whole lot of Middle-American dolts watching and drooling (whether or not from hunger I cannot say). The people he chooses from the audience are obviously actors, and it's no coincidence that he has the ingredients for these oh-so-accommodating sandwiches at the ready. In one he puts corn chip crumbles into a sandwich. That reminds me of then I used to put UTZ Potato Chips into my PB & J's. That was when I was 6 years old. In another he says, "I really like to get the ingredients in there...in a big way." And in yet another "perfect sandwich" he spreads some fucked up mayo creation on a croissant, which he keeps pronouncing "CROW-sahnt" like a fucking moron.
These videos make for a good laugh all-in-all, you can watch them here.
Just to say, I have nothing against mayonnaise, and if you are going to buy mayonnaise you
should definitely buy Hellmann's. Or if you want to make it you can try Steve Albini's recipe
at the bottom of this interview. If you want to lose your appetite read what KK Null eats.
Yeah Bobby Flay is such a greasy bro. All his food is like one step up from a Chili's menu. Fuck all dat. Good post. Keep up tha haterade.
ReplyDeleteI don't fuck wit mayo but Noel swears by Duke's
That's funny becuase I've seen you gobble up Ted's chicken salad like nodoby's business. Made with a Bobby Flay portion of Hellmann's, BTW. And yes, a southern(ish) gentleman like Noel would be a Duke's squire.
ReplyDeleteBobby Flay's stupid "local challenge" t.v. show (or whatever it's called) is the reason i have to wait over an hour for BBQ from Buzz n' Ned's now, standing in line behind a buzzing hacking and wheezing menagerie of nightmarish living Ralph Steadman illustrations. so i usually just go one block down to Hardee's and spend about 4 dollars less for a meal that's probably just as good.
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